it isn’t women’s job to educate men about sexism.
for every woman who will call a guy out there have to be a thousand who have totally given up
if you think you can let go of privilege without feeling any discomfort you are probably never going to learn to let go of privilege
feminists are under no obligation to avoid giving you a booboo on your feelings
demanding that people be calm and polite when talking about their oppression adds another layer of oppression
anyone talking about groupthink on twitter hasn’t grasped what twitter is for marginalised groups
irl straight white cis men plop out into a society geared towards their interest
online marginalised people get to form social groupings based around their values and supporting their identities
and if you want in with those groups you might not feel the level of comfort you are used to irl where you are privileged
and this is why men on twitter think the feminists here are unusually mean - because we aren’t indulging them to the usual extent
because there aren’t really angry feminists and ‘nice’ feminists
there are good actors, bad actors, and people who are tired of acting and crave authenticity in relations with men
but when feminists communicate authentically with men we can’t simultaneously embody the ‘comforting’ role we so often act out
even those of us who like to be kind, or nurturing, or gentle, or playful have to put down the mask sometimes and say women are under attack
and there is no ‘nice’ way to say that to the people who are partly and inadvertently or wholly and deliberately responsible
so please don’t force me to be nice about everything because i much prefer to be sincerely kind when it’s appropriate and not damaging to me
i don’t ever, ever want to have to choose between people i like and people i agree with.
to clarify one thing: asking someone to comfort you when they are the one who’s been hurt is asking and pressuring them to be inauthentic
Anonymous
